It’s incredible and almost impossible to explain the fact that we all love to be engaged with self-flagellation. Just think about it for a moment? We don’t like when someone talks bad about us or our situation, but we are always required to blaming ourselves for everything that is happening in our life. Even is that’s there is nothing to deal with us?
We are so selflessly ready to put a weight of responsibility on our shoulders for all the ills of the world, that we don’t notice that we are actually destroying ourselves. Stop!
Stop doing that at least for this things:
- Don’t take responsibility for other people’s traumas.We are talking about the previous experience. You can’t change their past and memories. You just can’t. Period. Yes, you sorry for them. Very, very much. Because you love them. But that happened, whatever that is, long time before they meet you. And you are not responsible for that experience. But you can create much happier present and future together. You can stand by each other in a moment of weakness and sadness and heal each other by being open and supportive.
- We can’t change something we can’t change. If you miss your fly because last night you’ve been on fire, yes, that is your fault! But if your fly has been denied because of the storm and now you can’t be your best friend wedding, well… That’s life. We can’t control everything. So stop accuse yourself of being a bad friend.
- When you don’t know what to do. If you can’t diagnose the problem, wait for symptoms. When you hopelessly bashing the air with getting any results to make things clear, you make it worse.
- Too much help and overprotection of someone you love can destroy things you already have. Give it space and let it go. You will be asked when it’s needed. Believe me.
- You have you. Love yourself. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Just don’t turn it to narcissism and respect, other people.
- Compare yourself with other only if you know that you’ll get benefits from that. There is nothing bad with getting an extra lesson or motivation. But don’t do it if you know that you’ll feel bad after. Stress will give you nothing but regress.
- What if? Once in a while, we are all being suspicious about something or someone. Don’t create your own horror movie. And stop worry about nothing. Go with a flow and observe. Life will show you everything you need to see/learn.
- Gossip. Yes, not a good thing, but let’s be honest… People are talk! And that’s our nature. We all have a moment when we talked about someone and most likely not in a pleasant way. There are no angels in here. But hey, forgive yourself for that. And make sure that before you will bash someone you will look in the mirror at first! Just saying…;)
- What’s came from the dark, will go back in a dark. Forgive yourself that your trust in someone didn’t meet expectations. We are all fallible. That’s ok. If someone just used you and dropped you in a difficult situation, which is a horrible thing. Give yourself as much time as you need for recovery. And don’t expect that everybody will do the same thing with you. Just observe more, learn about people around you more and don’t open up too soon. Guard yourself.
- Life is not an entertaining show. If you are not very social, don’t drop yourself on a public just to impress someone. You will get nothing but stress and panic attack. Everybody is different. And you don’t have to be MC every day to entertain others. If you are an introvertive type of a person find something that works for you. Your perfect way of communication. When you will feel secure and relaxed you will become more open and receptive to others.