Old Hag: And because you’ve been so good to poor old granny, I’ll share a secret with you. This is no ordinary apple. It’s a magic wishing apple.
Snow White: A wishing apple?
Old Hag: Yes!
Snow White: Really?
Witch: Yes, girlie. Now, make a wish and take a bite.
Snow white and the seven dwarfs (1937)
I am sure you’ve met some people who always trying to pull you back. They usually annoying, repulsive and always demanding something from you. Take a closer look at them, maybe it’s not just a nasty personalities? Maybe they are poisoning your life? Maybe you surrounded by wolfs in a cheep’s clothing?
It can be your lifetime friend who complains a lot how little you spend time together because you are always busy. Or some relative who loves you SO MUCH that seeing you engaged with a serious relationship will try his/her best to show you THE REAL SIDE of your partner. Or maybe your ex who still has an influence on you still trying to manipulate you or your finances? Sometimes it can be not too obvious and you will just meet people who irritating you and leaving you with nothing but a headache, tiredness, and sadness.
And when you recognize such people around you, you need to decide will you keep distance with them but still let them be in your life? Or you will just cut them off?
Here are some signs of people who are poisoning your life:
- They try to control you. It’s funny to say, but people who can’t take control over their life and manage it will try to manage your life. And will tell you what to do and how to do? And whether indeed you have to do it at all? Don’t expect them to be too obvious with that. For some people, maybe. But for most, it will be super creative manipulations connected to the feeling of guiltiness. And your inability to love somebody and appreciate friendship for real.
- They are always right! They know what is better for you. They know the real reason why the earth moves and why glaciers are melting. Any other’s opinion a just waste of time. They know better. Period! These type of people extremely painful will admit that they are mistaken about something. And if they will, they will nurse a grievance against you. And they will wait until the moment you’ll made a mistake. To put you back in place.
- They like to be a victim. They won’t spend time on finding an opportunity to improve their life. But they will be happy to spend hours to tell you that the entire world against them. And no one understands them. Even you, because you are busy with your job and your life. They will never try to be better, instead, they would prefer that everybody will fall until their level of unhappiness. They like to make excuses to everything, to give a “reasonable” explanations or deny their guilt for whatever happened.
- They always take but never gives you anything back. A healthy relationship, whatever it is, is like a ping pong game. The ball should hit the racquet of your partner and come back to you. But these type of people will take from you everything that they can and as long as you have enough.
- They don’t respect your boundaries. How many times did you tell them not to do this or that because it hurts your feelings? And they still do? And it’s always excuses…
- They love to hear your crying. More often they will ask how are you doing and if you give them even a little hint, that something is not ok. They will focus on that and will talk about it on and on and on until they see you crying. I had a friend who once told me, “Tell me about your problems. When I hear about yours, mine’s become nothing.” I mean, that what the “real” friends do. Right? 🙂
- They don’t want you to be successful and strong. Of course, they will tell that they do. But every time you fail they’ll be happy. How dare you have better life/dream/car/boyfriend/girlfriend/house/job than they are? When you are achieving your goals and they see how brave and how strong you are they will compare. And they will see how they weak and pitiful. Do you think they are gonna like that? Do you think they will forgive you for that? They will do with their “support” everything to see you crushed, crying and full of regrets. And they will be there, to save you.
These are just some signs to see how people are poisoning your life. Of course, it can be countless numbers. But these are the easiest to recognize.
Take care and be curious about people around you.