Have you ever been rejected by others? How many times you’ve been experienced refusal? How many of you have bad relationships with the family of your loved ones, just because you didn’t like them at the first sight?
It’s all based on the first impression. Take a look.
The first impression is an opinion about a human being, which is formed by your partner in the first minutes of your first meeting. It’s based on several characteristics: age, language, gender, physical appearance, accent, vocal variety, cultural stereotypes, race, posture and so on. The first impression is forming for a few seconds (from lots of recourses it’s 4 seconds if you are interested) and it’s fixing in the next minutes. It gives a further evaluation to your identity and activities you make.
You probably heard different points of view about the first impression. Some people would say that the first impression is never accurate and you need time to actually know somebody. Someone will tell you that your feelings about the person in the first few seconds when you just met him/her are true. And they all are gonna be right. Everybody is different some people are more open and receptive than others. And for some, the first impression is the actual profession, such as actors, TV hosts, sales managers, and others.
But here is the fact. American scientists made an experiment base on 3 stages.
- On a first stage, they would ask people take a look at a picture of some random strangers and make a judgment about them. Give them a rate.
- On a second, they would have to meet these people (from pictures) in person, spend some time together. And stay connected with them during 1 month.
- And on the final stage, they would have to tell scientists what they actually feel about those people who they judged on the begging of their experiment. How accurate the first impression was and who are those people in real life.
It’s quite interesting but almost all first impressions which based on pictures of strangers were accurate to the impression when the experimental group met those strangers in person.
Now, let’s look at the factors that affecting your first impression:
Physical appearance. We give beauty the force for good. We tend to think that all that is beautiful is often good and right for us. And beautiful people just can’t be harmful.
No wonder that media highlights a “special” physical appearance. Most of the TV stars and idols are all like the top of selection bias. Of course, it’s not always natural, but it works. You like them; you want to buy from them, you trying to copy their looks and behavior. You spend money on them!
In some countries, the question of how good looking you are may cost a new job with the bigger salary.
Most attention will attract the face. The face will be considered beautiful if it symmetrical and harmonic. An expressive face will get a lot of attention. Calm and positive mimic will be perceived positively and will help to build the right “mood” for the meeting. And the posture. The man with a good posture will be perceived as a confident and optimistic. Slouch will signal that you are dependent, subordinated and insecure type of person.
How do you treat people? The great impact on the perception of the human will impose his positive attitude to the people. Ask yourself, why politicians on the eve of election campaigns so desperately creating the image of a “good Samaritan” who promises people to bring them into the bright future? If you want your partner to feel good about you, give the sense of importance. But don’t try too hard, otherwise, you will look nothing but like pleaser.
Speech and vocal variety. Even when you can’t see the other person you still able to create an image of him/her in your head. It happens because we associate the tone of the voice with certain characteristics of personality that individual. Our voice is reflecting all emotions and thought we have in mind. If you are upset, it’s quite difficult to sound happy, even if you are trying really hard.
Dress how you want to be addressed. The devil in details! Dress according to the place and case. You can’t look the same for the business event and for the meeting with your friends at the pub. You can, but the Devil in details. Even the little fact, that you wearing glasses, at work will have a positive impression. That will give you more serious and “smarter” look. It’s funny but a lot of people actually do that on purpose, just to get this type of impression. But when you are in more chill and informal area you will look a little bit snobby. I do wear glasses and trust me I’ve been told that I have to shut down my “teacher’s” look. Try to avoid the status of wannabe, instead, just express your best sides. Also, avoid too strong smells (even if that is a very fancy perfume) and too bright makeup (if you are a girl, and again). Here is start working the law of criticism. The more you stand out from others, the more people are criticizing your actions. Be and look everything that the moment is required and you are gonna be fine.
Non-verbal communication. Follow the social rules of your cultural background. In some countries to avoid the eye contact will show that you are a slimy and rude type of person. But in other countries that may show the sense of respect to your peer. Same rules for body language and physical touch. Put your partner in the leading position and just lightly reflect his/her style of communication.
Stay at your arm’s length. We all need personal space. We call it comfort zone, our personal safety bubble if you want. Don’t ruin this rule. Don’t be too close and too far from your partner until he/she let you.
Take care 😉