Things that the good conversationalist do

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The good conversationalists are always:

 Know your name.  Psychological studies show that to call a person by the name is extremely important! The most pleasant combination of sounds for us it’s to hear when someone calls our name. By hearing our name we hear the confirmation that we exist and meaningful. And we  start to experience positive emotions and become more genial to the person who use this little trick.

“Bill, I heard you are very qualified on that topic, can you tell me what you think about …….?”

“Chris, could you do me a fever? Guys told me that you are one of the best who can fix…..?”

Follow the rhythm of communication. He listens when it’s needed and talk when you are allowing it. He is never interrupting you. The ratio of speaking and keeping silence in our daily life is constant. This means that every day we need some time to talk and a certain amount of time to be silent. This law works clearly enough for us.

Know what to say and use the right language. He thinks before he talks.  The good conversationalist is always clear and easy to understanding. He uses the right language and vocal variety. He always follows your reaction and gives you time to respond.

Mix open-ended and closed questions.  And they seek for the agreement from the other side.  They want to hear three or more “YES”. Studies show that when people say “YES” on a three following question, they tend to agree with a next question before you even ask. So there is a high possibility that next question they’ll ask, they’ll say “YES”. And be sure, they’ll ask you the right question.

Make you feel good about yourself. They will listen carefully and smile. They will show how impressed they are with you knowledge and experience about something. They will ask you a lot of questions. And they will use psychological stroking over and over so you will feel meaningful and important even after meeting.

And one little hint here.* little presents or souvenirs works great if you use it smartly. For example, if you go to a business meeting you can bring some samples of your brand, sort of gifts from your company.  Or you can show appreciation with buying coffee or tea after your meeting if the moment is required. If you work in sales you can give something for free. I had a great experience during shopping in one of my trips. The store I’ve been never given discounts or bonuses but they gave you some free goodies. And you can actually choose what you want. It was great!

 Keep things in its own places. Your space should stay untouchable. The good conversationalist knows that, If your door was open before the meeting, he/she will keep it open after they leave. They understand the importance of personal space and its harmony. So they will never play against this rule.

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