The process of adjustment to your partner

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Researchers show that today the work experience is in the fifth place of importance for employment. Your education is in seventh place, and the first place is taking by the first impression that you make at the first meeting.

When you meet the person for the first time, 90% of the important information you’ll get in first 4 minutes of your communication. This is enough to understand whether you like this person or not.

That’s why the process of adjustment to your partner is critically important!

The process of adjustment to the partner provides 3 steps:

  1. Identification.It starts with the postures. Where you and your partner just meet and see each other for the first time. So pre-judgment will happen from the visual aids. Then, gestures. You will discover him/ her. You’ll probably shake hands or start moving around. Then, vocal variety. You will do some greetings and start to talk about something. And from that warm up, you’ll understand the preferred communication style for your partner.
  2. Collecting and discovering information.On that step, you become an active listener. It’s really up to you how fast you will go to the next step. Basically on this stage you collecting the image of your partner more and give him/her sense of importance. You look for the moment where your partner is absolutely relaxed and greedily talk about himself/herself or their experience about something.
    3. And finally the last step, the test of your adjustment. On this step you will understand, can you influence your partner at the moment? Can you lead him/her?

So, how will you know it?

  1. “Leading your partner”.This is the method of interaction when your partner is taking your side without resistance or criticism. This is a type of reaction when you want to switch his/her attention from the outside world to the inside.

What does that mean? If your partner reflecting YOUR body language, postures, gestures, speech patterns, he emphasizes his agreement with your behavior. And if he does that unconsciously, he would agree with your words eventually.
How will you do that? When you see that your partner absolutely relaxed and greedily talk about something when you feel the right moment, stop support his nonverbal communication. And do something different. Something your own. Watch for the following reaction. If he/she reflecting on you that mean you succeed. You get the right first impression and this is the best time to keep it, start building a new strong relationship, share your ideas or ask for some fevers.
If you are not sure, just repeat the process from step 2.

  1. “Hypnotize him”.Make your speech flow as water. Use transitional words such as “when”, “if”, “then” e. t. c. Make your voice smooth and easy. Breathe deep and make a tone of your voice a bit lower than usual. Just a little bit, nothing crazy. You should look calm and relaxed. Spread the nice energy. Use conjunctions. They will give your speech flexibility and will help slightly hypnotize your partner. When you don’t make sudden pauses between sentences your partner stop controlling your information and reduces his level of criticism. But don’t rush when you speak. And do not build your whole communication line on that tool. Use it only when you partner is absolutely relaxed and you have this quick time frame. Your voice should sound smooth and flowing. When you use this technique in a right way, it doesn’t really matter what you are saying. Your voice hypnotizes your partner and making him trust you.

The material has bee written for this course!

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