Month: August 2016

Passionate heart and a cool mind

aa4ddfd4b5f6ea67163f0c2906d6f1f2 A passionate heart is great! No doubts, it’s always the best motivation in things you do and with people you love. If you living the life full of passion you living with the feelings that you able to move mountains. Every day is such a journey! Big passion creates big ambitions. It is killing your fear and letting you dare to meet challenges without hesitation.

But when your passion is leading you. When your emotions getting out of control, there is a big possibility to destroy your life.

Strive to balance – should become our life motto!

Look at people around you. They are living in status quo “not enough”… Not enough food, not enough money, not enough lovers, not enough fame/appreciation  e.t.c. They strive for excesses and don’t even think that they are walking a tightrope.

When your emotions are controlling your life you can’t have a sober view of things. And that means that you will probably become a hostage of your “dreams”.

It’s ok. We all have it once in a while. Our ego loves to play with us 🙂 Here are some tips that helping me to chill out and look at the situation with a different perspective. Hope you will find if helpful too 😉

  • No drama! Don’t overestimate the problem! Calm down and get yourself together. Soberly assess the situation. Follow your thoughts. See which way it goes and try to find at least more than 2 possible scenarios to your problem. Every problem has a solution! Tune in a positive way and you will feel much better. That will help you to win the time before you’ll actually do something about it. Do not panic!
  •  Create a calm space.  Try to get rid of all that the white noise around you (everything that can bother you and put you in a more frustration and stress). This may be a noisy place, emotional people around you, cell phone, tv and so on. Some people get more panic from the actual silence. If you want to think about your situation, analyze it and find a solution to it, create/find calm space for you. So nothing can bother.
  • You CAN control your emotions! Learn to control your emotions. No need to panic, screaming and fall into hysterics. Try to relax and breathe calmly. First of all take off your shoes and the belt (if you have it)! You need to stabilize your blood pressure and relax your muscles. Breathe deep and slow for a few minutes. Till you will feel that your heartbeat getting slower. Turn your focus to your right foot and focus on the way it feels. Then to the left foot. Relax your muscles and keep breathing. Slowly move up through your body. Keep breathing. In may took you 8-10 min. But you will feel better. You will be more stable and calm. You’ll succeed when you’ll try. That technique works with most of the people.

    Before you’ll share your problems with anyone (!)

    Independently think about your situation, weigh all the “pros and cons”. Think which way will help you to solve the problems as you consider in the most successful way? Don’t report to all the people around you about your current situation. Chill out and think over yourself first. And only then, if it’s necessary, share with others.

    Always listen to your inner voice! If you can’t hear it, train yourself. Spend more time with yourself. Meditate. And don’t be too hard on yourself. Sometimes all that we have to do, is just switch our attention to something else. And the solution will come.

    All the answers are withing us! It’s always better to have a passionate heart with a cool  mind. Then burning yourself from the inside 😉

Take care!

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If I can’t have it, neither can you!

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Today I had pretty interesting phone call.  It was an international call with one of my peer. We talked about qualification, certifications, and many other random things. I shared with her my ideas about traveling, internships. And how is nowadays, to have an international real life experience, brings you move value as a specialist on a “market” than a bunch of diplomas on your wall.

I told her that is an amazing thing to have a cosmopolitan life and be able to meet new cultures, peers and exchange experiences. Try things you’ve never tried before! Come up with your own methods and techniques in your work!  Get new mentors! At the end of the day, you can see new opportunities for business if you are interested. Isn’t it’s great?

But she didn’t share my excitement. In fact, she told me that she is already reached her “higher level of self-development” as a specialist and she is able to teach everyone else. That to “go global” is a waste of time, extra stress, and a possibility gets diarrhea…

I didn’t start a fight with her. But it made me think. How many people around us just sitting on their buts to get their check paid? Seriously!  They don’t need anything! They don’t care how they are influencing your life. They don’t care will you get a real knowledge or not? Will you become someone and grow? Will you reach your dreams? They against every possible change, because being out of the comfort zone didn’t guarantee a paid check for them! After all, such people will use their best efforts to make you think that you are ” such a dreamer” (in the very best polite way).You know… I’ve been upset after talking to her, to be honest. But then I remember one story.

There is such a wonderful thing called the crab bucket theory which literally means a short-sighted way of thinking or myopic thinking.  In short, it says that the crabs are such a stupid animals that individually each of them could easily get out of the bucket. But when one of them is trying to get out, the others is clinging to his back and tightened him.

So as people, when you are trying to quit smoking and someone will say, “I tried  for a few days and it didn’t work. You are gonna fail too! Haha” and you’ll take it. And later will smoke without feeling of guilt…  It’s a crab bucket! When you are trying to follow a healthy diet someone will tell you, “Dude, it’s just a question of a time, you’ll still keep dream about it! Eat some donut! You’ll start your diet tomorrow. – yes, crab bucket!

Unfortunately, it’s a human nature… We can’t  do anything about it, except for one thing! We have to be stronger than the bucket and push forward, even when a hundred people are pulling you back!

 

 

Wide lens for your life

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When you questioning yourself about life and how things should go in your life. Take a moment and ask yourself this…

What is your life about? Do you like an old man or like a young and full passion man?

What is worse, fall or never try

If life is too short, why do you do things that you don’t like? And why you almost don’t have time for something/someone you really love?

If you are allowed to change only one thing in the world, what would it be?

If happiness will be the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

Do you do things for what you believe, or trying to believe in what you are doing?

If the average human life lasted 40 years, what would you change in your life, so you live it in the most exciting way?

What makes you worry the most: to make things right or do the right thing?

If you will have lunch with three people you respect and appreciate. And they will start to criticize your close friend, not knowing that you are friends with him. You know that this criticism is unfair and humiliating. What will you do?

If you could give to a kid only one piece of advice, what would you say?

Would you break the law in order to save a loved one?

What in this life do you differently than other people don’t? How do you different from others?

How is it that, that something that makes you happy, doesn’t make happy other people?

What do you really want to do, but never tried before? What is stopping you from that?

Why do you hold something for so long, when you know that it’s time to let go?

If you will have to move to another country, where would you move and why?

Why do you do it? Is it really what you want? Is that you?

What are you most thankful for?

What would you do if your greatest fear became real?

Do you remember how you were terribly upset 5 years ago? Does it matter now?

What is your happiest memory of childhood? What makes it so?

If not now, then when?

If you haven’t achieved something yet, what is missing in your action plan?

Why are the people who preach love, are causing so many aggression and violence?

Is it possible to be clear and straight about what is good and what is bad?

If you will get a million dollars now, would you quit your job?

Do you have the feeling that today is the day that you lived before? Dejavu?

When was the last time you started to be active about something and take actions on it?

If everyone you know will die tomorrow, who you will visit first?

Would you like to exchange the 10 years of your life to worldwide fame and awesome physical appearance?

What is the difference between  life and existence?

When it comes time to observe the risks and take actions why do you stop?

If we learn from our mistakes, why are we afraid to make them?

What would you do differently, if you will know that no one will blame and judge you for that?

When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? Your heartbeat?

What do you love? What do you do to express your love?

For each day of the past 5 years, will you be able to remember what did you do yesterday? The day before yesterday?

The decisions are taken here and now. Do you take it yourself or someone takes them for you?

How to get rid of negative thoughts?

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How often do you fall into negative thoughts for a day? Just think about it? We are more willing to talk about things that we don’t like, rather than things we like! Wich means, we would prefer to criticize everything that goes around us and spends our pressure lifetime on that, rather that just be happy! That’s crazy!

I am guilty too, to be honest… a few days ago I’ve been insane to see how easily people I love giving up on their dreams and prefer nothing but to go with a flow! And they call it “the God’s will”… Well, I DO LOVE GOD! Nothing against it, but your journey into the wild is really on your own! God is just a guide. Doesn’t mean he will do the job for you! You have to do it yourself via experience, mistakes, lessons, pain, and so on. But that’s just me and my own point of view.

Anyway, if you falling into the same problem of having negative thoughts or being judgemental and critics, here are 4 simple methods to ger rid of it!

Cut it off!

As soon as you feel that your start falling into negative thoughts, simply cut it off. Don’t spend the time to analyze it or beat it! Don’t try to hide or protect yourself from it, simply replace it with something else. And the key principle here is you should do that immediately. At the very first moment, as soon as you felt negativity!

The issues in quotes.

This method is different from the first one. Here we distance ourselves from the negativity and watch it from the side. We need to switch our attention and perception of the information from the inside world to the outside. Don’t let the situation master you. Sometimes you may think, “What’s happening to me?” – Today I had such a thought… Put your buzzing thoughts in quotes and simply watch it from the side.
Negative thoughts have power over you if only you respond to them.

Exaggerate it!

Once you’ll find yourself in a negative place, you have to exaggerate it to the absurd. And the key point is to make it funny! You have to catch yourself on negative thoughts because your consciousness is the great deceiver. Every day your brain is trying to play with you some kind of a joke. Have you noticed it? Allow urself to make fun of your problems and create an absurd in your head. That will help you to deprive the negative thought influence. Because negative thoughts have power over you only if you respond to them.

Opposition.

All that the negative thought has said to us, we have to turn it to the exact opposite. Once you got the idea, “I won’t be able to make a sale,” you have to replace it with the opposite thought. Like so, “I certainly will be able to make a sale”. If you thought comes, “I will never be able to achieve financial success in life”, you should immediately replace it with such a statement as, “I’m sure I will achieve huge financial success in life.” As soon as the thought came: “I am such a looser. Everything I do is such a failure. I can’t do anything!” – you need to say to yourself, “I can do anything! I am unique and a very unusual man.”

I know, it is absolutely impossible to think about the negative and positive things at the same time. Because your consciousness can think of one thing at the time only. But when you’ll dispose the negative thoughts and replace it with the positive one, negative thought won’t have an influence over you.

Be creative with these methods and choose the one that will work for you the most! Do not let negativity rule your life!

 

 

 

 

Top 5 simple rules to improve engagement of your listeners

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As a teacher, I find top 5 simple rules that may help you improve your engagement of your listeners.  Take a look.

1. The time-limitation law. Witch says that first 10 minutes of presented information we perceive as actual 10 min of our time. Second 10 min we are perceiving as 20 min of our time. And the third 10 min as 30 min of our time. The more time you spend on talking non-stop, the faster your listeners will be tired and bored. So, all my lessons built around this low. All the important information try to put in the first part of your presentation. Also, do some breaks between the key points. Not necessarily it would be the actual 10 min and then break, sometimes it can be a bit longer, sometimes shorter. But try to stay in this limitation and you will see that you have a better engagement from your listeners.

2. Recall. All of my lessons starts from a recall of information my students already know. And then I can look for it in the middle of the lesson or by the end of it. Before presenting your ideas, try to get to know your  listeners. Maybe they already familiar with the topic you will present.  When you having interaction with your auditory it always helps to break the ice!

3. Feedback. I have to be focused on students engagement. The lesson is not about me, it’s about students and what they have learned. So, when I gave them a rule or new vocabulary I ask them to make an example from it. And I am trying to understand which way to present the information because every day is a different day. Always seek for a feedback. It’s important. Even when you being a speaker or a host follow your auditory reaction. Nothing can’t be worse than a speaker, who creates a stand-up comedy show for yourself when he trying to be funny. It’s not about you, it’s about them! 

4. Content. To make things interesting for my students I am bringing visual aids, cartoons or short movies, songs, toys e. t. c. Even if I am making an example, I follow their interest and trends. Don’t be afraid to use some extra materials or examples in your presentation/speech. Content is the king!

5. The possibility of using the information in real life. Most people could have a high rating scale in a classroom but stepping out could be challenging for some of them. I have to give them this challenge. I have to give them lots of communication. Speaking of motivation, sometimes I do open lessons. Which means we go out and we try to discover things via different things. I like the idea when my students can express their thoughts in a public. I am not always will be with them, so it’s good if they learn on their own. Thinks about value of your content. People are spending the time to listen to you. Respect it. Don’t talk about your company/products/services only. Give them some food for thoughts. Bring them some value. If you will help them with something, if they can learn something to increase their life or make it better… and because they spend time on you… You can be sure that they will give 200% of their attention to you.

People you are too comfortable with…

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Hi, guys!

Before the weekends I want you to give some food for thoughts. This blog will be simple but very analytical (if only I can use this word) for your character and life.

Most of you probably heard about Boiling Frog Syndrome.

Scientists put a frog into a pot with water. And they started to rising temperature very slow. Just because the frog is cold-blooded animal his body felt comfortable in the pot with room temperature water. The frog adjusted to the slowly rising temperature without a problem or feeling the danger. 
But when scientists tried to bring the frog to the pot with boiling water, a green little guy tried to escape. His body reacted immediately. 
Why am I bringing you this story? Yesterday my friend and I talked about pros and cons in a friendship between man and female while someone in serious relationships/marriage. He told me that it’s totally fine to have a “friends” (girls). His girlfriend understands that and it doesn’t damage his relationship with her.
So I asked him, “I do understand the fact that sort of friendship exists, but it’s great when you meet each other in the company. And not tet-a-tet. How come she support you with that if you’re back home in the middle of the night after “meeting with a friend?”
And he said to me, “Well I don’t do anything bad. I am just talking. I like to spend time with my “friend” (girl). She is very fun and interesting to talk with. And I am not a cheater. Even when I want to cheat, I never do that. My girlfriend trusts me.”
And asked, “What do you think now?” He kept silent.
That’s the thing! When something happening up front, we just like that frog feeling the danger and trying to escape. But when we are too comfortable someone can get us on a hook! And who knows what kind of outcome you’ll get at the end?
Back to our story about the green little guy… The outcome is boiling delicious frog soup! 😉 Unfortunately, when this little guy understood that he is in danger, it was too late…. 🙂
I am not telling you that you should cut off all the friends out of your soulmate, not at all. I am just telling you to be aware of people with who he/she is too comfortable with. You can trust to your partner, for sure. But you’ll never trust to the other person. Everybody is different and not everybody is angels.
Take care!