Category: relationships

Survival kit: advice for a lifetime!

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Stop wasting your time on self-flagellation! No one is perfect! You worth so much more than you think! There are 6 best pieces of advice for a lifetime. Print it and put it next to your eyes, so every time you’ll have some doubts, you’ll know what to do!

  1. Act on it now! Don’t wait for a perfect moment. The perfect moment is here and now! Proceed immediately! If you want to do something great one day, remember one day It’s today. – George Lucas.
  2. Invent as you go! Don’t wait till you become a pro into something. If you want to try something new, start businesses, or enroll some educational program – allow yourself to learn in a process. Studies show that the most talented interpreters are the people who start their businesses with a high level of motivation and persistence. Most of the knowledge they have now were gutted in the process.
  3. Just keep doing! Give your dream at least an hour of your time, but every day. Persistence is the key to your success. Stay humble and work!
  4. Cry inside like a winner! 🙂 Well, what can I say? no one likes people who complains. Everyone have problems. If you able to get attention from the other person, use it to learn, gain, or sail something. Never complain. No one’s care! 🙂
  5. Give the price of your words! If you can’t keep your promises what kind of impression you’ll get? Same about people who likes to talk just for shaking the air to look cool. Words mean nothing! Don’t overtell! And if you a promising something – give a price of your words! Make a “contract” and find a third party to prove it! If you are planning to achieve your goal by the end of this year what will be your punishment if you fail? This is actually very cool system. You’ll have not only natural motivation but also people who will watch your success and the feelings of losing something important/expensive for you. (By the end of 2016 I will lose 25 pounds! And if I’ll fail I’ll give away my new Iphone7! How about that? Motivating isn’t it? 🙂 One little remark here, when you a giving a price to your promise this price would be equal to your outcome. In other words, the feeling of losing should be equal the happiness when you’ll achieve your goal.
  6. Do it fast! Don’t spend much time on taking a decision. There are lots of techniques that can help you with making a difficult decision, for example, Descartes square:desc_1But if you still can’t make a decision., leave it and think about it tomorrow. Next morning is the best time for your brain to make a decision, it’s free from pressure and excitement.
  7. What hurts you now, leads the wisdom later! And this is literally about everything! Take it to your own personal situation in the past and you’ll see.

Hope this will help you and take care:)

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Psychologically proven facts, which explains a lot…

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1. The average length of time which every woman able to keeps a secret is 47 hours 15 minutes.

2. To be alone for a too long as harmful as if you would smoke 15 cigarettes a day.

3. Bilingual people may unconsciously change their character when they are switching from one language to another.

4. People who are constantly trying to make others, at the end, are often being left alone.

5. Emotions are not affecting our style of communication. The way we say things really affecting our mood!

6. The higher human’s intelligence, the faster he thinks and the more promiscuous he is in handwriting.

7. People who have very strong sense of guilt, very well distinguishing emotions of others. They are the best detectors.

8. Men are not funnier than women, they just release more jokes, and never thinks whether other people like it or not.

9. Usually, the best pieces of advice will be given to you by those people who had lots of difficult moments and struggles in life.

10. On the first date, you can learn a lot about a person’s character, look at the way he/she treats the waiter or waitress.

11. Women are attracted to men who have a low husky voice because they seem to be very confident, but not aggressive.

12. Unsociable people always talking about themselves very little but most of the time you got the feeling that you knew them for a long time.

13. Women have two times more pain receptors than men, but also two times more pain threshold of tolerance.

14. When a person listens to music at the high frequencies, he becomes more relaxed, happy and relaxed.

15. If you have buzzing thoughts and you can’t sleep bcoz of it, write them down. Your head will become lighter and clearer.

16. SMS with the wishes of good morning and good night will activate part of the brain which is responsible for your happiness.

17. If you do things that scare you, you will become happier.

18. Friendship with someone, which we are starting in the period between 16 and 28 years, usually the most robust and long-lasting.

19. The happier we are, the less time we need to sleep.

20. When we being hurt and holding the hand of our loved one, we don’t feel so much pain and become less anxious.

21. People with the higher level of intelligence have fewer friends than the average person. The smarter we are the more selective we become.

22. There is a huge possibility that the marriage with your best friend will be more robust, and strong. That can decrease the risk of divorce by 70%.

23. Women who have most friends – men are more often being in a good mood.

24. Travel is beneficial to your mental health as well as it reduces the risk of your heart attack and depression.

25. You look much more attractive at the moment when you sharing your stories with interest and enthusiasm.

Passionate heart and a cool mind

aa4ddfd4b5f6ea67163f0c2906d6f1f2 A passionate heart is great! No doubts, it’s always the best motivation in things you do and with people you love. If you living the life full of passion you living with the feelings that you able to move mountains. Every day is such a journey! Big passion creates big ambitions. It is killing your fear and letting you dare to meet challenges without hesitation.

But when your passion is leading you. When your emotions getting out of control, there is a big possibility to destroy your life.

Strive to balance – should become our life motto!

Look at people around you. They are living in status quo “not enough”… Not enough food, not enough money, not enough lovers, not enough fame/appreciation  e.t.c. They strive for excesses and don’t even think that they are walking a tightrope.

When your emotions are controlling your life you can’t have a sober view of things. And that means that you will probably become a hostage of your “dreams”.

It’s ok. We all have it once in a while. Our ego loves to play with us 🙂 Here are some tips that helping me to chill out and look at the situation with a different perspective. Hope you will find if helpful too 😉

  • No drama! Don’t overestimate the problem! Calm down and get yourself together. Soberly assess the situation. Follow your thoughts. See which way it goes and try to find at least more than 2 possible scenarios to your problem. Every problem has a solution! Tune in a positive way and you will feel much better. That will help you to win the time before you’ll actually do something about it. Do not panic!
  •  Create a calm space.  Try to get rid of all that the white noise around you (everything that can bother you and put you in a more frustration and stress). This may be a noisy place, emotional people around you, cell phone, tv and so on. Some people get more panic from the actual silence. If you want to think about your situation, analyze it and find a solution to it, create/find calm space for you. So nothing can bother.
  • You CAN control your emotions! Learn to control your emotions. No need to panic, screaming and fall into hysterics. Try to relax and breathe calmly. First of all take off your shoes and the belt (if you have it)! You need to stabilize your blood pressure and relax your muscles. Breathe deep and slow for a few minutes. Till you will feel that your heartbeat getting slower. Turn your focus to your right foot and focus on the way it feels. Then to the left foot. Relax your muscles and keep breathing. Slowly move up through your body. Keep breathing. In may took you 8-10 min. But you will feel better. You will be more stable and calm. You’ll succeed when you’ll try. That technique works with most of the people.

    Before you’ll share your problems with anyone (!)

    Independently think about your situation, weigh all the “pros and cons”. Think which way will help you to solve the problems as you consider in the most successful way? Don’t report to all the people around you about your current situation. Chill out and think over yourself first. And only then, if it’s necessary, share with others.

    Always listen to your inner voice! If you can’t hear it, train yourself. Spend more time with yourself. Meditate. And don’t be too hard on yourself. Sometimes all that we have to do, is just switch our attention to something else. And the solution will come.

    All the answers are withing us! It’s always better to have a passionate heart with a cool  mind. Then burning yourself from the inside 😉

Take care!

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How to get rid of negative thoughts?

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How often do you fall into negative thoughts for a day? Just think about it? We are more willing to talk about things that we don’t like, rather than things we like! Wich means, we would prefer to criticize everything that goes around us and spends our pressure lifetime on that, rather that just be happy! That’s crazy!

I am guilty too, to be honest… a few days ago I’ve been insane to see how easily people I love giving up on their dreams and prefer nothing but to go with a flow! And they call it “the God’s will”… Well, I DO LOVE GOD! Nothing against it, but your journey into the wild is really on your own! God is just a guide. Doesn’t mean he will do the job for you! You have to do it yourself via experience, mistakes, lessons, pain, and so on. But that’s just me and my own point of view.

Anyway, if you falling into the same problem of having negative thoughts or being judgemental and critics, here are 4 simple methods to ger rid of it!

Cut it off!

As soon as you feel that your start falling into negative thoughts, simply cut it off. Don’t spend the time to analyze it or beat it! Don’t try to hide or protect yourself from it, simply replace it with something else. And the key principle here is you should do that immediately. At the very first moment, as soon as you felt negativity!

The issues in quotes.

This method is different from the first one. Here we distance ourselves from the negativity and watch it from the side. We need to switch our attention and perception of the information from the inside world to the outside. Don’t let the situation master you. Sometimes you may think, “What’s happening to me?” – Today I had such a thought… Put your buzzing thoughts in quotes and simply watch it from the side.
Negative thoughts have power over you if only you respond to them.

Exaggerate it!

Once you’ll find yourself in a negative place, you have to exaggerate it to the absurd. And the key point is to make it funny! You have to catch yourself on negative thoughts because your consciousness is the great deceiver. Every day your brain is trying to play with you some kind of a joke. Have you noticed it? Allow urself to make fun of your problems and create an absurd in your head. That will help you to deprive the negative thought influence. Because negative thoughts have power over you only if you respond to them.

Opposition.

All that the negative thought has said to us, we have to turn it to the exact opposite. Once you got the idea, “I won’t be able to make a sale,” you have to replace it with the opposite thought. Like so, “I certainly will be able to make a sale”. If you thought comes, “I will never be able to achieve financial success in life”, you should immediately replace it with such a statement as, “I’m sure I will achieve huge financial success in life.” As soon as the thought came: “I am such a looser. Everything I do is such a failure. I can’t do anything!” – you need to say to yourself, “I can do anything! I am unique and a very unusual man.”

I know, it is absolutely impossible to think about the negative and positive things at the same time. Because your consciousness can think of one thing at the time only. But when you’ll dispose the negative thoughts and replace it with the positive one, negative thought won’t have an influence over you.

Be creative with these methods and choose the one that will work for you the most! Do not let negativity rule your life!

 

 

 

 

Top 5 simple rules to improve engagement of your listeners

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As a teacher, I find top 5 simple rules that may help you improve your engagement of your listeners.  Take a look.

1. The time-limitation law. Witch says that first 10 minutes of presented information we perceive as actual 10 min of our time. Second 10 min we are perceiving as 20 min of our time. And the third 10 min as 30 min of our time. The more time you spend on talking non-stop, the faster your listeners will be tired and bored. So, all my lessons built around this low. All the important information try to put in the first part of your presentation. Also, do some breaks between the key points. Not necessarily it would be the actual 10 min and then break, sometimes it can be a bit longer, sometimes shorter. But try to stay in this limitation and you will see that you have a better engagement from your listeners.

2. Recall. All of my lessons starts from a recall of information my students already know. And then I can look for it in the middle of the lesson or by the end of it. Before presenting your ideas, try to get to know your  listeners. Maybe they already familiar with the topic you will present.  When you having interaction with your auditory it always helps to break the ice!

3. Feedback. I have to be focused on students engagement. The lesson is not about me, it’s about students and what they have learned. So, when I gave them a rule or new vocabulary I ask them to make an example from it. And I am trying to understand which way to present the information because every day is a different day. Always seek for a feedback. It’s important. Even when you being a speaker or a host follow your auditory reaction. Nothing can’t be worse than a speaker, who creates a stand-up comedy show for yourself when he trying to be funny. It’s not about you, it’s about them! 

4. Content. To make things interesting for my students I am bringing visual aids, cartoons or short movies, songs, toys e. t. c. Even if I am making an example, I follow their interest and trends. Don’t be afraid to use some extra materials or examples in your presentation/speech. Content is the king!

5. The possibility of using the information in real life. Most people could have a high rating scale in a classroom but stepping out could be challenging for some of them. I have to give them this challenge. I have to give them lots of communication. Speaking of motivation, sometimes I do open lessons. Which means we go out and we try to discover things via different things. I like the idea when my students can express their thoughts in a public. I am not always will be with them, so it’s good if they learn on their own. Thinks about value of your content. People are spending the time to listen to you. Respect it. Don’t talk about your company/products/services only. Give them some food for thoughts. Bring them some value. If you will help them with something, if they can learn something to increase their life or make it better… and because they spend time on you… You can be sure that they will give 200% of their attention to you.

People you are too comfortable with…

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Hi, guys!

Before the weekends I want you to give some food for thoughts. This blog will be simple but very analytical (if only I can use this word) for your character and life.

Most of you probably heard about Boiling Frog Syndrome.

Scientists put a frog into a pot with water. And they started to rising temperature very slow. Just because the frog is cold-blooded animal his body felt comfortable in the pot with room temperature water. The frog adjusted to the slowly rising temperature without a problem or feeling the danger. 
But when scientists tried to bring the frog to the pot with boiling water, a green little guy tried to escape. His body reacted immediately. 
Why am I bringing you this story? Yesterday my friend and I talked about pros and cons in a friendship between man and female while someone in serious relationships/marriage. He told me that it’s totally fine to have a “friends” (girls). His girlfriend understands that and it doesn’t damage his relationship with her.
So I asked him, “I do understand the fact that sort of friendship exists, but it’s great when you meet each other in the company. And not tet-a-tet. How come she support you with that if you’re back home in the middle of the night after “meeting with a friend?”
And he said to me, “Well I don’t do anything bad. I am just talking. I like to spend time with my “friend” (girl). She is very fun and interesting to talk with. And I am not a cheater. Even when I want to cheat, I never do that. My girlfriend trusts me.”
And asked, “What do you think now?” He kept silent.
That’s the thing! When something happening up front, we just like that frog feeling the danger and trying to escape. But when we are too comfortable someone can get us on a hook! And who knows what kind of outcome you’ll get at the end?
Back to our story about the green little guy… The outcome is boiling delicious frog soup! 😉 Unfortunately, when this little guy understood that he is in danger, it was too late…. 🙂
I am not telling you that you should cut off all the friends out of your soulmate, not at all. I am just telling you to be aware of people with who he/she is too comfortable with. You can trust to your partner, for sure. But you’ll never trust to the other person. Everybody is different and not everybody is angels.
Take care!
 

James Borg and his types of conversationalists… Part 1

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James Borg, in his book “The Power of persuasion. The Art of Influence People” identifies five main types of conversationalists. He explains that all people can be divided into 5 main types. And each type needs his own method of communication. Let’s look at them.

1.  “Hurry up! Make it short! Come on!”

He is afraid to miss new opportunities, so he is willing to give a chance to anyone who get his attention and make him listen to you. But don’t expect that you’ll feel “special” in that moment. The motto for this type of person – Time is money!

Don’t even try to get the initiative in the conversation. This type of individual loves to take control of the situation. He will speak quickly and clever. He will observe a lot. And he won’t stop to remember you that he is spending time with you, by looking at watch once in a while.

Your tactics:

When he is inviting you to a meeting, he is expecting the positive ending. So go direct with your idea. Speak briefly and be on point and don’t fall to the law of triviality (we will talk about this law in our next blogs). Know exactly what you will talk about and avoid “the water”. Be clear about your big things at any levels. And always give a solution to something little, so you won’t spend time on that.

2. “What benefits can I get from this?”

They will accept any proposals in writing form only. They prefer to communicate through their secretary. When they confirm the meeting you definitely will feel like they are giving you a fever. Your dialogue will be nothing but the pure work with objections and criticism. Every your statement will meet a hundred and hundreds of arguments.
“You are mistaken”,” This is not gonna work”, “You not enough experienced to do that!” e.t.c.
But don’t take it personally. This is just a tactic to put you in a place and show that they are the one who has authority and knowledge.
The reality is this, often they don’t know much. They just don’t have enough time to cover everything, so they work with preconceptions on a regular basis.
However, it is not necessary to expose it! Work with it!

Your tactics:

You are dealing with superiority. Break his model of negotiations and power. Ask him to sit next to you on the sofa. Say that it’s necessary. Just find any excuse: you have a back pain, you need a socket for your laptop and the power cord is short, e. t. c. Be assertive and don’t take your opponent’s attacks too personally.

To be continued…